“… But lawmakers disagreed on whether [funds] are A) Models of sophisticated private investing, as their chairmen, executives, annual reports, consultants, and industry associations assure us; or B) Bumblers, whose political boards hire friendly vendors, hide what their private contractors actually collect, and present investment performance in an overly rosy light, while racking up persistent deficits. … Monk called American public pension investors, as a group, 'mediocre.' He said their high-fee private-equity profits were juiced by 'cheap debt' — in markets that were already 'pointing upward' — enriching private managers so they can buy pro ball teams and go 'laughing all the way to the bank.' …”